I witnessed a very unpleasant episode yesterday where I saw a very resilient and independent woman in a pool of tears. It was the most unexpected reaction from a woman of her ability and character that left me scouring for answers even in my sub conscious at night.
I would like to narrate the event to seek your help in probing answers to some pertinent questions.
I’ve known Megha for last 15 years as a quiet, graceful and an introvert woman. I’ve seen her gradual growth from a small street corner shop to a sophisticated showroom in an upmarket with a fabulous collection and a great customer base. She may not be overtly wealthy but the hard work put in by her has certainly helped her attain an honorable sustenance in the modern era.
I developed a lot of respect for this woman when it came to my knowledge that she was a divorced mother who resuscitated her life by working as a sales girl in a clothing store. The responsibility of two years old daughter instilled strength and perseverance in Megha who hailed from a conservative family where women were married off at an early age and accountable only for the maintenance of the household.
Driven as she was, she inaugurated her own small shop within a year. After toiling day and night, envisioning only for her daughter, Supriya’s, successful life, she managed to give new dimensions to her business. Her unique and sophisticated collection attracted niche clients and soon she upgraded to a glamorous showroom in one of the swanky marketplaces in the town. Megha was now a successful and independent woman.
Being engrossed in managing her business, left little time with Megha for guiding and supervising Supriya. While Megha was busy accumulating money for Supriya’s masters, Supriya was quilling somewhat different dreams. Megha heeded to all of Supriya’s demands in order to compensate for absence of fatherly love until one day when she had a face-off with Supriya.
Anant was a regular supplier of Megha’s business. He visited her showroom twice or thrice a month to manage his supplies. He secretly admired her and often asked her out for coffee but Megha, would always politely decline. Though Megha respected him for his courteous and caring behavior, she had also resolved to not to enter relationship with any man as it might affect Supriya’s upbringing. She did not want to surge the complications in her life. What Megha overlooked was the fact that Supriya was no more her little girl. She was now an adult and having been devoid of male affection throughout her life, she was an easy prey for any man.
Anant was interested only in Megha but when she repelled all his advances, he thought of taking Supriya into confidence to help him win Megha’s heart. Anant started giving special attention to Supriya and rained flowers and gifts for her. He would take her out for coffee after her college and chat with her for long hours trying to ascertain her mother’s likes and dislikes. It wasn’t long before Supriya developed fascination for Anant- not as her mother’s partner but as her own partner.
She realized that Anant had all the qualities that a woman desires in her life partner. He was loving, caring, outgoing, handsome, polite and well settled. In short, he was a great husband material.
When Anant approached Supriya with a request to convince Megha for their marriage, he was flabbergasted to discover Supriya’s feelings for him. He shunned her away by saying that she was an egotistic, ungrateful and immodest woman who was her own mother’s foe, a mother who had sacrificed her whole life for her daughter.
As maturity is also a produce of age, Supriya was inept at handling her state. She rushed to Megha’s showroom, which was packed with customers and confronted Megha in public. Megha, who was ignorant of the series of events, couldn’t rationalize her daughter’s conduct at once but a mention of Anant from Supriya’s mouth, cleared haze from her thoughts. Supriya blabbered all the melodramatic daily-soap inspired dialogues accusing her mother of meddling with her happiness.
Megha just kept staring at her daughter as if unable to recover from the shock of devastation. Once Supriya left, Megha cried her heart out, regretting that she wasted her entire life accumulating wealth for her daughter instead of teaching her values. She repented having lived her entire youth by herself to nurture a daughter who had fallen for a guy who was a father figure. She felt worthless and miserable.
I tried to console Megha that she did the best that was in her abilities and it wasn’t her fault but the Chinese whisper had already started and I could hear all sorts of chatter and verdicts around. People had been offered a gossip-mine to forget their predicaments. All kind of rumors flared up in minutes.
I was very upset as the events unfolded.
I was not certain who was at fault here and these thoughts kept me awake at night.
Was it Megha’s fault to have been unable to nurture her daughter in a socially acceptable manner?
Why do we have so many expectations from Megha?
Why was she supposed to carry the burden of harnessing a modest life for herself and her daughter alone?
Was she right in spending her life alone rather than remarrying?
Wasn’t she courageous to have been independent her entire life?
Why is a mother blamed for everything?
Is Supriya’s behavior really socially unacceptable?
Is it insane to fall in love with a man of your father’s age?
Why didn’t Supriya think of her mother’s happiness before self?
Was she truly accountable to payback for her mother’s sacrifices?
Who frames these rules of do’s and don’ts, especially for women?
Doesn’t each person have a right to live own life as one desires?
Why are we answerable to society for each of our actions?
Can we stop judging a woman’s morality all the time?
A very great read, Vandana but dont some women fall into this very trap and a mother will surely know how she would feel if her children behaved like this. It is very sad but life and its circumstances do not leave anyone. Great post.
I know…It is indeed quite a sad tale but that’s how life is..highs and lows…Thanks for you words Kamal 🙂
Yes absolutely true Vandana and life is like that ups and downs in each and everyone’s lives. Welcome dear.
It is the lack of sharing that created problems here, not a lack of values. Supriya is at a vulnerable stage in life. She is lucky that Anant is a sensitive man, and did not take advantage of her, which somebody else could have. The story smacks of ‘Lamhe’, except that the mother is alive in this case.
The fact that mother is a alive is a big differentiator ‘coz the tussle here is between mother and daughter. Thanks for your insight.
We cannot judge anyone here as each one is a victim of circumstances. Looking back, all I feel is probably Megha could have spoken to her mother in private before accusing her in public.
Control over emotions is something we all must learn. And yes, everyone here is a victim of circumstances. Thanks for your views Radhika.
Thought provoking, I feel it is amateurish on part of Surpriya to confront her mother but she was also lured into this factitious predicament by Anant who was is the villain in this story. For a mature man like Ananat it would not have been difficult to gauge whether Supriya sees him as a father or as a beloved.
I think it’s each one’s perspective. Everyone handles the situation differently, that’s what makes us unique human beings. While confronting your parents publicly is certainly not sane, it’s more to do with the fact that how well you are able to handle your emotions and reactions. Thanks for your comment Siddhartha. I appreciate your outlook.
Thanks for appreciating. You posts are thought provoking and nicely written.
I am honoured 🙂
Aah such a sad post. Whatever happened was really bad. I really can’t judge whose wrong or right especially in matters of love. But one thing is quite sure, no matter what, “Whatever rift is within the family, should stay within the family.”
I could answer a few of those questions as I have been personally been in few situations having been brought up by a single mother.
Was she right in spending her life alone rather than remarrying?
Megha was right in thinking about her daughter first rather than remarrying. Reason is my mom had shared this that it’s difficult for a step father to treat step son or step daughter in the same league as son or daughter. My mom even shared that, if I were a girl, things would have been rather worse. There is a chance of step father even sexually abusing the child. At that point, I wasn’t aware of this world that much. But when I grew up, I could see that, it was a risk indeed. No matter, how much good happens in this world, evil is still present.
But maybe, one thing she hadn’t done enough was probably letting her child know how much she had sacrificed.
From Supriya’s point of view, I don’t think we can blame her for falling in love with someone, no matter his age. Also, there could have been this loneliness that was missing in the absence of her father. Human mind is very complex and we can’t judge what would have gone through her mind. Maybe, after a few years, if she thinks about all these, it might sound even stupid to her.
To conclude, it gives no right for anyone to judge about any woman or man for that matter, as each situation and each individual is different and behave differently to different situations.
I pray for the family to sort out all their differences and come out of this problem with flying colours.
I agree Smitha. Our thoughts and actions are constantly guided by circumstances and to judge right or wrong in anyone’s life isn’t a good thing. Thanks for years your insight and comment Smitha. Have a great day!
You too my dear. Have a great day!